Change is overrated
by lorelaivictoriadanes
Summary: Takes place after 615 when Lorelai & Luke return from Martha's Vineyard.
1. Chapter 1

I wish I could have put more time into this. I'm at work and I'm supposed to be well… working. I had a few spare minutes between meetings and this is the result. Sorry it's not great as it was rushed but it's all the time I had. I'll try and write the second part during my lunch break if anyone wants me to continue.

Takes part after 615. Don't know why I wanted to write this, it's a bit dark and gloomy out today and well I was in the mood for a little angst. Not sure if I should continue with it. Let me know, if anyone wants me to finish it I will.

Lorelai is walking back to her house after leaving Luke at the diner.

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Lorelai walked home quickly. She felt the sooner she got home the better, it would make her feel, safe again, comfortable again. The weekend away had started out bad. She knew Luke didn't really want to go away and she knew he would go because she asked. Luke had spent the first day complaining about everything. Usually Lorelai loved Luke's rant, even encouraged them but this time it was different. So she snapped, she didn't mean to yell at him but she did, then he gave her a wonderful and expensive gift and she felt like more of an ass. AT least, she thought her sadness made them talk. She had really talked to Luke about the wedding that she thought would never happen and Luke had assured her he loved her and they would get married. They slept better then they had in months that night and in the morning they just sat and talked. Not about anything important but it was good to just be with each other and talk about anything. When they left Martha's Vineyard they continued to talk the whole drive home. They talked about the trip, the events of Mitchem turning up, they talked about Logan and Lorelai told Luke she knew how he felt. Luke agreed that Logan wasn't a bad kid. They talk briefly about the wedding-slash-elopement. When they arrived back in Starts Hollow and the diner Lorelai felt great. She finally felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders but then it all came crashing down again…doubled.

At the diner when Caesar had mentioned April, Lorelai's face fell but she quickly placed a smile back just for Luke. She told him she see him after April had gone and Luke didn't disagree. He didn't jump in and say 'why don't you come over at 3' or 'drop in while April's here' or ever 'I'll bring her with me to pick up her bike' nothing. She was being shut out again. She knew this was Luke, that he needed time on his own to process things but it didn't mean she had to like it.

When she walked into the house she let a small breathe of relief. She was home and safe. Then the loaded came down heavier, the messages, her mother, June 3rd.  
Lorelai stood in her living room stunned. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak, she couldn't scream even though she wanted to. Why was this happening to her? Why? Her life had never been easy but she loved her life. She had a home and a job and friends. She loved her town and she had Rory. Rory was always there with her when things got bad and now even she had gone. Lorelai had Luke, her friend Luke who she could always talk to, cry to and joke with but now he was gone. Not officially gone, on paper he was closer to her than ever. They were engaged. But in reality he was further from her than ever. She couldn't run to him because she was feeling sad, because he was part of the problem, she couldn't cry to him about feeling lonely because he was part of the problem and she could joke with him about her life being well… a joke because there was nothing to joke about. She was meant to have everything she wanted. Her house was now renovated, she had her own business, her wonderful daughter was in college, she had fallen in love with her best friend and they were engaged. What went wrong?  
Lorelai felt like everything was slipping away from her again. Just ten short minutes from when she arrived back in Starts Hollow to now standing in her living room … that's all it took for her world to fall apart again.

Lorelai had had enough, she grabbed the papers she had placed on the table and threw them against the wall. She picked up the answering machine and before she realized what she was doing she threw it through the living room when it fell on the floor with a thud. Tears started to run down her cheek, she was loosing it and she hated it.

She was so angry, so caught up in her rage she didn't hear the front door open. Luke stood there looking at the room covered in newspaper sheets and the answering machine on the floor behind the couch.  
"Lorelai"

Lorelai turned around "What?"

"What happened?" Luke gestured to the living room

"Why are you here?"

"I brought your bags back, I thought you might need this one tonight. It has your glasses and toothbrush and…." Luke stopped when he saw her face. Tears streaming down it.

"Lorelai" He took a step towards her but she took two back.

"Just leave it on the floor, that's where everything goes tonight"

"Lore… what…. Are you okay?" Luke took another step forward, again she took two back.

"Just go please, I need to be by myself"

"What… we just… Don't shut me out" Luke said sincerely

That was enough for Lorelai, that's all she needed to release her anger, the emotions that had been stewing inside her since she found out about April

"Shut you out, shut you out.. oh Luke's that rich coming form you. Ha." Lorelai started to pace. Luke wanted to run, was he dreaming, he thought everything was fine, he kissed her not ten minutes ago, what happened?  
"Shut you out" Lorelai repeated "Oh Luke, Luke, Luke…. Who didn't tell me about April for two months, who agreed to postpone our wedding, who renovated my house but won't move in here with me, who complained through our entire weekend away, who didn't ever get me a valentines day gift" Lorelai looked at Luke's face "What you think I'm that stupid I know..." She continued on her rant "Who doesn't want me to meet his daughter, again who didn't tell me for two months and only did because I discovered her in your diner, who is silently banning me from coming near you when she's around, who is shutting me out of his life, who is putting up barriers, who argh Luke, I can't do this any more" Lorelai couldn't see through her tears but she knew where it was. Her hands were shaking. She pulled the ring off her finger and dropped it on the floor.

Luke stood staring at her pacing back and forward, her face getting redder and redder. The tears pouring down her face and onto the floor. He didn't know what to say or what to do. He wasn't even really listening to her anymore. He was in shock, what had happened to make her snap. Then he saw the ring on the floor. When he snapped out of it she was halfway up the stairs.

"Lorelai" it was all he could say

Lorelai heard him, he sounded heart broken and a tiny peace of her loved it, a bigger piece of her wanted to let him run to her and hold her but the biggest piece didn't want to see him at all. "Go Luke, go home"

Luke watched her ascend the final stairs and disappear. Now he was getting angry "FINE" he yelled even though she was out of site. He wasn't sure why he was mad but mad he was. Probably easier to be mad than be heartbroken. He picked up the ring and stormed out of the house slamming the door behind him.

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	2. Chapter 2

Okay another really quick write so please ignore all spelling and grammer mistakes. Thanks for all your kind reviews. Hopefully I'll be able to finish the next chapter by tonight.

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Luke stormed a few meters down the road then slowed his pace. His anger had been an act. Showing Lorelai he could play her game, yell and scream. But he couldn't keep it up, his shoulders slouched and his eyes felt wet. "What the Hell?" He yelled to no one in particular.

Luke walked slowly the rest of the way to the diner and then upstairs to his apartment. He slumped on the couch and put his head in his hands. He stayed like that for a few minutes before finally raising his head and looking around his apartment. He sighed loudly, closing his eyes again tightly before opening them, hoping everything had just been a bad dream.

Suddenly Lorelai's voice was back in his head everything she had that night rolling around, all jumbled into each other. All yelling to be heard and acknowledged. "Two Months, you didn't tell me for two months" Luke felt a pang of guilt but quickly pushed it away. "She can't still be mad about that, we talked it through she said she was fine. I can't believe she'd change he mind and hold it against me?" Luke mumbled to himself. "Postponing the wedding was her suggestion and we talked about that and I haven't moved in because well, she never asked me to, well not officially anyway." Luke sighed again. He's had enough of thinking. He didn't know what he could do make it better or what he had done wrong. Then it hit him "The necklace of course" He remembered. "I can't fool her what was I thinking trying to pretend it was from me. I'll get her something tomorrow that'll make her feel better.. hopefully"

Luke had decided that was it, that must be why she was mad. He had lied about the gift so the next day he'd go out and buy her something from the mall. He'd do that, he'd brave the mall ever though he hated it, just for her. With his mind made up to let her have some time to cool off, Luke made his way to the bathroom and got ready for bed. Luke practically fell into bed. He rolled over trying to get comfortable when a piece of paper on his bedside cupboard caught his eye. He sat and up picked it up. It was a copy of April's latest school assignment she had given Luke to look at. He had placed it there few days ago, before they went away. Suddenly Lorelai's voice was back "Who doesn't want me to meet his daughter, Who is silently banning me from coming near you when she's around?"

Luke stopped. "Danes you idiot" Luke yelled aloud. He jumped out of bed, grabbed a pair of shoes and a jacket and ran out of the diner and down the street in the opposite direction to Lorelai's house.

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Lorelai had stormed up the stairs and almost made it to the bedroom when she heard Luke yell "FINE" and slam the front door. The tears spilled faster and she slumped down against the wall, suddenly finding the few steps to the bedroom too hard to manage. She didn't know what she had wanted. She was glad she said those things but wished she could take them back, glad Luke was angry but at the same time wished he wasn't, She wanted him to follow her and make it all better but didn't want to have to deal with him either.

After a few more minutes of tears she stopped, wiped her eyes with the back of her and picked herself up. "I am not this girl" she said to herself. She walked into her bedroom and looked around before picking up the phone and dialling a familiar number. She waited until the beep before leaving a message. "Mother thank you for the loving notice in the paper but you may want to check with the person the notice is about before placing it." She took a deep breath. "There is no June 3rd.. well technically there is but not for me, okay well yes there will be a June third for me but not a wedding June 3rd. Plans have change and it would have been nice for you to check with the supposed bride before placing said notice. So again thanks but you'll have to unplaced it, place and apology saying Lorelai won't be marrying Luke. There you finally got your wish" Lorelai slammed the phone down. Leaving that message made her feel slightly better. Even though technically it wasn't her mothers fault. Lorelai had kept the postponement a secret but finally saying that there wouldn't be a wedding out loud made her believe she could start to move on.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks everyone for the kind reviews. Makes me wish I had more time to really write this properly. Oh well.. Here's the next part…

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Luke made his way to Lorelai's front door about to enter but stopped. He suddenly realized how late it was. All the lights were off and she was probably asleep. He didn't want to wake her, she wasn't her friendliest when woken. Luke turned around walking down the steps and across her yard. He then made a sudden move deciding it was too important to wait. He opened the door, adjusted the item under his arm and made his way into her house. Luke turned on the lamp to see where he was going. There were papers and items all over the place. He made his way through the mess as quietly and carefully as he could before almost leaping up her stairs. He stood outside the door taking a deep breath before entering her darkened room.

Luke made his way over to the bed, sat gently on his side and placed the item he'd been carrying on his pillow. He took another deep breath trying to work out if this was such a good idea. He then stood up and walk around the other side of the bed. He knelt in front of Lorelai, her arm slightly hanging over the side, her hair covering part her face. Even though it was dark Luke could make out her features and could tell her eyes were puffy. His heart broke knowing he had caused this pain. Again he mentally debated the worth of him being there. Maybe it would be best if he left, she didn't want him there and she needed her sleep, maybe he should come back in the morning or just sit where he was until she woke up? Again his heart won out, he needed to tell her now. He slowly moved his hand towards her and gently brushed the hair away from her face. He felt the moisture on her face, fresh tears running from under her closed eyelids. He realized she was wake, probably the whole time he'd been there.

"Lorelai" He whispered softly. Lorelai's eyes stayed shut but the tears continued to flow and her chest moved quickly. Run-or-stay, run-or-stay kept repeating in his head. "Lorelai" said whispered again before kissing the side of her eye tasting her salty tears. Lorelai slowly opened her eyes but refused to look at Luke when she spoke "Luke please just…"

"Lorelai Please, please let me talk" Luke pleaded and when Lorelai didn't protest he continued. "Look I've been an ass. I've been so stupid. I…." he sighed. "I'm not good with words you know that, just wait.." Luke got up and walked over to his side of the bed and picked up the item and walked back around before sitting on the floor next to her bed. "Look I want you to see something… he fired up the laptop, typed in the site then waited. After a moment he turned the screen towards Lorelai. When she didn't react to what she was looking at, Luke spoke again "This is April's website. This is my daughter's site" Luke whispered. "I know it doesn't make up for what I've done but I wanted you to see it. I want you to see this before you meet her. Lorelai sat up silently and Luke placed the laptop on her legs. She scrolled down through the photos without a word before stopping just before the bottom. Lorelai's eyes widened. There in front of her on Luke's daughter's site was a photo of Luke and Lorelai. Underneath it read "My biological father and my soon-to-be step-mother"

Fresh tears ran down Lorelai's face. Luke wasn't sure if this was a good sign or not but he spoke again. "Look I know I stuffed things up okay, I know that now but I just…. I just wanted to show you that you are apart of this. April knows all about you and she asked for the photo. I talk about you all them time and Rory too. She's knows everything about you…your coffee addiction and your junk food addiction and…" Luke stopped, Lorelai still hadn't said anything,. She hadn't taken her eyes off the screen and Luke was giving up hope "she knows how much I love you and how much I want to marry you and I think she's even hoping for the flower girl position "I just didn't get it before tonight okay. I'm a guy and not a very bright guy. I keep to myself and I don't let others in easily and I don't talk about things. I was handling this the best I could. I thought if I got to know April then I would introduce you two and you'd get on famously because well, you get on with everyone"

"Except my parents" Lorelai's whispered

Luke smiled a half smile "I knew April would fall in love with you and you'd get on famously right away. I just wanted some time and I didn't think about how it was making you feel. Lorelai I'm so sorry."

Lorelai nodded but didn't say anything else. Luke waited a few moments before standing up, he placed a hesitant kiss on her cheek and began to walk towards the door. Giving her some time alone to think.

"Where'd you get the computer from?"

Luke stopped and turned to face her. "Kirk. I now have to give him free lettuce, ham and relish sandwiches minus the relish for the next month"

"Wow You did that for me?"

"I did it for you, I'd do anything for you" Luke sat back on his side of the bed. "I'd do anything you'd ask you know that. You just need to tell me what okay. I don't get subtle. I need you to spell it out for me. I need you to tell me when something's wrong or bothering you or when I've stuffed something up so that I can fix it. "

Lorelai nodded and turned back to the computer playing with the keys and typing away furiously. She then turned the screen to Luke. "You told me to spell it out." Lorelai smiled at him.

Luke read from the screen.

"I would like to apologize for not talking to you and telling you what was wrong.

"I would like to apologize for psycho girlfriend earlier"

"I would like to meet April – when you're ready"

"I would like to meet her mother, after I meet April, after you're ready"

"I would like to marry you after I meet her mother, after I meet April, after you're ready"

Luke took the computer and typed slowly before turning it back to Lorelai

"I would like to apologize for being an ass."

"I would like you to meet April and her mother and I would LOVE to marry you"

Lorelai smiled. "Luke I'm sorry…" Luke cut her off with a soft kiss "It's okay, and I'm sorry too and I want you to meet April tomorrow."

"No Luke you don't have to.."

"I know I don't but I want to. I think she's sick of just me anyway."

Lorelai smiled "She could never be sick of you"

"and we'll work the other stuff out I promise" Luke kissed her again.

Lorelai bit her lip nervously before grabbing the computer, typing and turning to to Luke

"I would like to apologize for today's paper, what will appear in tomorrow's paper and for the fact my mother will most probably land at the diner sometime tomorrow morning to yell at both of us"

Luke looked at Lorelai questioningly

Lorelai laughed "I really need to learn to take a deep breath and sleep on things"

"Promise you'll tell me about it in the morning" Luke asked.

"I'll tell you everything I promise"

Luke nodded. He stood up, his hand searching through is pocket before he pulled out the ring that had been on Lorelai's finger until recently. Lorelai looked down sheepishly.

Luke took her left hand and with is other he lifted her chin so she was looking at him. He slipped the ring back onto her finger "It stays there forever okay"

Lorelai nodded confidently "Okay"

Luke leant over an kissed her slowly "So before we go to sleep is there anything else I need to know?"

Lorelai took the laptop again. Luke read over her shoulder "I would like some coffee please"

Luke rolled his eyes before standing up ready to make his way down to the kitchen. He turned back and grabbed the computer from Lorelai "Don't get used to it. This has got to go back to Kirk tomorrow"

Lorelai pouted. Luke began walking out of the room listening to Lorelai talking. "Well how am I going to spell things out to you… we could get a black board but it'd be too hard to carry around, oh maybe an etch-a-sketch I'm sure T.J could give us a few lessons or what about one of those automated voice thingies or I could just carry a pen and pad of paper around with me at all times" Luke just shook his head as he made his way down the stairs. When he can back wit her cup of coffee Lorelai was grinning at him.

"What?" Luke asked suspiciously

Lorelai took the coffee and placed it on the bedside table. Before using her finger to spell out in the air…"I love U"

Luke smiled and kissed her "I love you too" he kissed her again and again and again and soon everything was forgotten, the fight, her mother and the coffee.

The end

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I hope that was okay. I thought I'd finish it in this chapter. I might write another fic if anyone is interested. Maybe a fluffier one.


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